Social Media and "Socializing"...

 I've often had a love-hate relationship with Social Media. As many perks and benefits it may bring, the downfalls are ever so dreary...to a point that you don't even recall if there were any perks in the first place! I mean, for a concept of which title primarily consists of the word 'Social', you'd expect there is going to be a lot of human to human connections, interactions and well..company. However, on the real ground of things, there is simply a bunch of scrolling up and down, turning one post after another, futile shady stories and barely any company. People ask for likes and comments and no matter how many they may get, it is never going to be enough. They will still post about how lonely, misunderstood and unloved they are. They will still be burdened with tons of secrets with nobody to share. They will still be fighting their daily battles alone, behind a screen of strangers who never bothered to even ask if they were doing okay. The list goes on and doesn't necessarily apply to everyone but a lot of it is relatable to many of us. 

As a matter of fact, 'Social' Media can be the exact place to escape socializing. But the thing is, even for introverts and people with no energy to socialize, there comes a point where they ache for companionship and human connection. That's how humans are built, you can never 100% constantly enjoy being alone, regardless of what personality you have. Why? Simply because as there is no perfect companionship, there is also no perfect solitude. As Fernando Pessoa once said : "Solitude devastates me; company oppresses me. The presence of another person derails my thoughts; I dream of the other’s presence with a strange absent-mindedness that no amount of my analytical scrutiny can define". Though we cannot alter our solitude nor the other, we'll have to accept both for what they are and settle with the fact that we're neither a God nor a beast to be perfectly one.

I have personally been in positions where I stopped talking to certain people as soon as we exchanged our SM information. Not because we had a bad encounter on SM or anything like that...it wasn't anybody's fault either, it kinda just happened. One way how I can attempt to explain it is that, once we got eachother's accounts, we feel this sense of ownership, like that's it! This person is a staple in my life, and I can reach out to them whenever I could. Not until we stop interacting on SM and turn into complete strangers even if I've known them in real life for years. Because that's what Social Media does to people, it alienates friends and relates strangers, but only for too little of awhile. Don't even get me started on the endless pointless friend requests, only to sit on your list with no active connection at all. For this reason, I stopped accepting friend requests from people I don't know, except for few who already initiate an introduction. I just don't see the point behind all of it. Why befriend me on SM if you're never going to interact with me? Or is it just your way to show yourself? Well honey at this time of my life I'm thinking of unfriending people I already know, let alone keep ones whom I don't know nor will I ever do! 

On the other hand, I am blessed with a family of whom I pretty much enjoy being around and would kill and die for. The thing that puzzles me the most of how and why I manage to feel lonely on many occasions still. Is it because I crave the company of different people? If my family is my everything, what added value anybody else shall bring me? Why do I still bother to go online and present myself? I don't really have a satisfying answer, maybe part of it has to do with mutual interests. It's true I can speak to my family about anything, but they don't necessarily share all interests with me. If my family is my best friend, why do I still flounder making friends, putting up with their $it and disappointments..only for them to never lay out the same time and energy for me. Well, to be fair it's not that I've had terrible friends and acquaintances. On the contrary7, for an introvert such as myself...I've made some pretty loyal friends of whom the long years never changed. We do go on about not speaking for weeks, though when we do it's like we've been constantly in touch. I can still trust them and they trust me back. 

Having said all of that, this post isn't about friendship particularly, but the whole aspect of socializng on Social Networks. For many,7 it is a place to be popular and famous or promote a business and intellectual productions. The irony in this, fame is the last thing I can even teach myself to tolerate, let alone want. I don't want to be famous. The idea itself scares me, but I do want to find like-minded people with whom I can discuss topics and learn from eachother. Even if they were not like-minded, they would at least have the felxibility of mind to talk about our differences with respect and acceptance. Ultimately, what we want from Social Media is one thing and what we get is another. The latter isn't always bad, but it's not fulfilling either. 

One thing however that keeps pulling me back to Social Media after Lord knows how many times I thought of deleting everything, is to keep up with my favorite writers and influencers. Whom I got to know -and myself included- so deeply through their work more than I could have ever known some person with thousands of nonsensical chats. It is nonsensical because it is ingenuine and dominantly driven by the other side's interests over mine. I remember that time when someone said after asking me about my favorite movies, I have a bad taste and they should teach me what great movies are. The fact that I even continued talking to that person for days to come is just appalling. I am learning though, and until I start seeing some actual socializing on 'Social' Media, I will continue to use the quotation marks.  

On a light note, the last couple of weeks have been some of the most difficult as well as amazing time of my life. I truly submerged in the moment and learned what phones and media do to our conception of time. Time always flies but not when I was directly and physically occupied with something meaningful and human. Not when I was creating memories instead of capturing them. The sad part is that, it has ended and set the bar higher for my experience with socializng to settle with what 'Social' Media offers. I will never forget the faces, voices and touches. I will live my life from that time to another, what is inbetween is plain void. 

Social Gathering- by Unknown