Streaming on the Game of Trust

 As much as trust strengthens the bonds of our relationships. It never truly stands firmly, prior to initiating a gambling! Some people we trust because we go way back, others solely for the effortless blood connection. The list goes on for reasons that make us trust others. Whatever it is, I don't think we can fully rationalize trust or ever at all. 

So many of us are having trouble just trusting our own self...and if we do trust our self, how much room do we leave for self-awareness and improvement along the way? 

You see, trust is a tricky thing! We long for it but the daring courage it takes into our guts to finally make a bet. To bet on someone and allow them into our life. What could possibly make them any better than the preceding confidants? Whom we trusted and regretted it badly! Is there a sign to look for? Or an experiment to execute? 

Nothing. Nothing at all! You place a bet! A bet that you can unfold within the next day, or the next two decades. 

Coming from a failed bet of trust, makes it even harder! Yes I have trusted before and continued to trust until it became a redundant game. The results were always dreadful. every...single..time.

The people I truly trust now, I was never put in a position with them where I felt I could be risking anything...which can also mean I had zero expectations for them...they were always there and are here now. So I'm beginning to think that trust as well as the people that come with it, are maybe some transcendent concept that we can't invite or alter. Though something in that thinking makes me feel like I'm being cynical. I've never been cynical...or at least as I like to think.. but sometimes I allow myself to be...life happens you know. Crap happens....but I have never ate Crab in my life...it's literally on my bucket list. I only tried the imitation stuff or as they call it, 'Surimi'...I don't know if it's due to how expensive the real stuff is or it simply never occured to me looking for it. I don't even know how much real Crabs cost. I stumbled once at one on the beach, it looked pitiful as it was dying because that's what the locals said. They also said it was old and it certainly didn't look appetizing...but when it's cooked and blushed with that bright red, they look devourable...ugh! No wonder it's so difficult to trust others, us humans are such predators! And no..I don't think turning vegan makes you any less of it. You still drool over living creatures, be it with roots or legs. Though I understand how someone would want to make a moral argument out of it and refrain from eating animals...I've been there before and let's just say, it no longer makes sense to me now...anyways humans are predators and Gosh did you see how Crabs eat millions of their babies because they are too lazy to get food after the eggs are hatched? This could be the reason why we don't trust eachother...the game of trust is a game of survival...we predate to survive, we can't trust what we prey on or know who or what is preying on us...so how can we trust really?! Nobody teaches you this, just like there is nobody to teach you how to gamble. They teach you the rules of the game to keep order but not how to win...because there is no how to win...it's utter luck...or chance...or fate...or everything other than what you can work on to attain..not that I've ever gambled *Astaghfirullah* 😶

They say trust must be mutual...I think the person who trusts you is the last one you actually want to trust back! I don't have an argument for it, but abtractly speaking...the only apparent reason someone who is not your child nor do they go way back with you (since they intiated a bet) could possibly trust you, is because your existence to them does not threathen their survival in the first place...meaning you are on the passive end...meaning they are more predatory than you...meaning you can't form any unruly danger to them...meaning they place higher in the hierarchy...or...do they? Well at least they see themselves as so...and such relationships can never carry on in a healthy manner.

Well many Muslims or religious people in general (myself included) can say, you don't have to actually trust others, you just trust God and whatever comes along the way will be good for you...clear your intention they say...have faith in God, he can't possibly send dangerous people to you. The thing is my friends...dangerous people aren't sent our way...we already live with them...we were already born in a cluster of dangerous people...interchangeably with safe ones too...and the same safe one can turn predatory in the split of a second! You simply have to cut the wrong wire and BOOM! Tyrannosaurus is brought back to life! We are the human transformers, regardless of how psychology is trying to define us into personality traits to predict how dangerous we are allowed by our traits to become...those maybe definable but the surrounding triggers aren't...and this isn't something new...Emily Dickenson already said it in her poem "A Man may make a Remark" and John Milton in "Paradise lost"...speaking of poetry, I think it's the only field where you get to be emotional and analytical at the same time...this probably sounds like what a poet would say to gas up what he does since few people have been referring to me as one lately...but I'm not a poet soo...💁 I know spirituality can often bring this convolution to ease...but it is not a consistent thing...because we are not consistently spiritual...so you simply don't think of it...or you keep placing bets but don't live long enough to unfold the ugly end of them....this is not a closure because I am not your ex. Bye!

I look cute because I'm not real.  <3