Lunariat

I'm not trying to be bleak But I have a history of being weak  And soft for birthdays and special occasions  Things are changed now as many questions arose I don't understand what we aim from the celebration  Are we celebrating personal achievement or simply 'us'... Are we admitting our ability to adjust... To life and its ups and downs? Do we send our wishes to the ones... From whom we aspire having it returned to us... Or simply those we truly deeply appreciate... Even whose mutuality we cannot guarantee ? Are birthdays reminders or act of kindness... Evoking our insignificance... Or shedding light on our existence? Why some of them are guilt free and others joyless... Are we naive to be accepting attention shamelessly... Or mature if it moves us cheerlessly? Birthdays are not my favorite days  But I favor every span from birth to memory Of my loved ones similarly So for those in the other end only  I wish a happy birthday to me :)

     So I woke up today with a clear hopeful mind, looking forward to have my coffee and get the day started. Coffee of course can be an enough reason for me to be excited about a new morning, but today it was also owing to this place that me and my friend planned to go to.  So, I went through my regular routine and got myself prepared to go out.  Phone? Check  ✓ Wallet? Check ✓  Lap top? All check!  ✓ Closed the door behind me and headed out to the bus station to meet my friend. There! She was standing right beneath the beautiful shiny sun rays which seemed like they were coming out of her not onto her. I run to her like a child who sees his mom coming to pick him up from school. She's obviously about my age, not as loving as a mother to her kid and a bit of a meanie too! (but her fun personality makes up for it *ahem* still love her though =P) So, my point is what one can do in these bizzare corona times with all these anti-physcial-socializing ...

Everybody has been complaining about how 2020 was the lousiest year ever! Almost a month into 2021 and we're still blaming the current fails on 2020. Looks like this is going to take a while. But I think what really made us dislike the passing year is the decrease/lack of achievement or at least what we classify as one.  It's true I had to call off so many plans. It's true the lockdown made me so miserable that I left work piling up...I may never get to finish all the books I started last year, life is currently so fragile and messy for me and I'm desperate for a stable income like never before...but you know what? Scratch all that! I achieved a lot already.  Maybe most of my plans have failed, but I am a success on its own!  I changed drastically only from October 2020; I learned a lot about people and what I want in life, which made me seriously filter out toxic beings and I'm still in the process of it. I learned to control my temper like a pro! Also, I can see h...

Today was a tiring day  but not as tiring as when I had to stay I just want to rest and lay   but not from my soul and aching core. maybe I was comfortable  but that comfort didn't allow me to be myself and live  Today was a tiring day  but not as tiring as when I acted okay  I just want to rest and lay  and have something to look forward to in the morning  I came back and forth that I feel worn out  all the means have expired  all the thoughts don't get me as excited  but I can look for new ones and maybe find nothing  and nothing will be special  Today was a tiring day  but not as tiring since I pushed the harm away. I just want to rest and lay

  Waiting I’m waiting, for the sun to shine; and waiting, for the pens to line. Yet I keep waiting, for the birds to fly away and I wait, before dreams start to sway Then I wait; untill winter ends and again waiting when summer begins. Waiting is what kept me so forgotten, since the day you had my heart gotten Because waiting is all of what I can do.  For you to come, or I won’t come to you.

  Me and my Dusty Thoughts as I keep you inside you try to blow my mind so you can runaway you stop for a while you make me smile they think I'm insane at times you are so lovely but you make me feel lonely I lose my control you grow up so fast I can't cope with something this vast you don't deserve me you're like the rain not a river falling from a sky like silver too many and too messy you've been mistreated and you've been misguided you lost your way you always confuse me you always confound me I don't know what to do without you I'm helpless but why you put me in such a mess? I should let you go I can't leave you all at once because words take time to pronounce you'll always be mine I won't live for so long but I can't keep living on my own together we'll be just fine may be its time for me to tolerate I need a place to contemplate and think of a plan a plan to escape from the insanity a way to go out of this infirmity to let y...